Understanding the Unique Trauma of Sibling Sexual Abuse

When we think of sexual abuse, the image that often comes to mind is that of an adult perpetrator and a child victim. However, there is another type of sexual abuse that is often overlooked and misunderstood Sibling sexual abuse occurs when one sibling engages in sexual behavior with another, typically with a significant age or power difference. It is estimated that up to 25% of all sexual abuse cases involve siblings as the perpetrators, making it the most common form of intrafamilial sexual abuse (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2016).

While sibling sexual abuse shares some similarities with adult child sexual abuse, there are significant differences in terms of dynamics and impact on survivors. In this blog, I will explore how sibling sexual abuse is different from adult child sexual abuse, the unique challenges it presents for survivors, and the specialized therapy needed for their recovery.Dynamics: Power and BetrayalOne of the key differences between sibling sexual abuse and adult child sexual abuse is power dynamics. In adult child sexual abuse, the perpetrator is typically in a position of authority and control over the victim. This could be a parent, caregiver, or any other adult figure who holds power over the child.In contrast, in sibling sexual abuse, the perpetrator is often closer in age to the victim and may not have any perceived authority or control. However, this does not mean that power dynamics are absent in these cases. Often, the perpetrator may use their physical strength or emotional manipulation to exert power over their younger sibling.

Moreover, sibling sexual abuse also involves a sense of betrayal and breach of trust within the family dynamic. The victim may feel conflicted as they are supposed to trust and rely on their sibling for support and protection. This betrayal of trust can have long-lasting effects on a survivor's sense of safety and relationships with others. For this Blog the term sibling, is anyone related or not, who has an assumed sibling type relationship with the child.

• Impact: Complex Trauma and Conflicting Emotions

The trauma experienced by survivors of sibling sexual abuse is often complex and multifaceted. Unlike adult child sexual abuse, where the victim may be able to identify the perpetrator as an external threat, in sibling sexual abuse, the perpetrator is a part of the victim's daily life and family.

This can lead to conflicting emotions such as guilt, shame, and confusion for the survivor. They may feel torn between their love and loyalty towards their sibling and the trauma they have experienced at their hands. This internal conflict can make it difficult for survivors to come forward and seek help, Often times, survivors feel the weight of the family on them, perhaps being told that if the survivor says anything it would result in the family breaking apart, also a fear if they disclose to anyone, the sibling would end up in jail or harmed, this pressure will often subdue a survivor, rendering them unable to speak up, as their world would implode, this type of manipulation is common, leading to delayed disclosure or even silence.

Additionally, in cases where the abuse has been ongoing for a long time, the survivor may experience a sense of normalization of the abuse. This can make it challenging for them to recognize that what they went through was not okay and seek help for their healing. At times the survivor may be coerced into believing that this is their fault, or that they deserve this for being difficult, or challenging.

Recovery: The Need for Specialized Therapy

Due to the unique dynamics and impact of sibling sexual abuse, survivors require specialized therapy for their recovery. Traditional therapy approaches may not be effective in addressing the complex trauma and conflicting emotions experienced by these survivors.

One therapeutic approach that has shown promising results in treating survivors of sibling sexual abuse is Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT). This approach helps survivors process their traumatic experiences, challenge negative thoughts and beliefs, and develop healthy coping skills.In addition to individual therapy, group therapy can also be beneficial for survivors of sibling sexual abuse. Being in a safe and supportive group setting with others who have gone through similar experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide a sense of validation and understanding. Therapy for sibling sexual abuse survivors also needs to involve family therapy. As mentioned earlier, this type of abuse often brings a sense of distrust and betrayal within the family. Family therapy can help address these issues, improve communication, and rebuild trust between family members. Often, an adult survivor does not know what a healthy relationship looks like, they may not know how to develop healthy relationships between their own children, as often the fear of it happening to their children will take over, creating a pattern of unhealthy relationships within the family. 

Adult survivors of Sibling sexual abuse often fear relationships, see them as threatening and unsafe, with this in mind they do not always know how to help their children have safe and nurturing relationships with each other.

What Does Specialized Therapy for Sibling Sexual Abuse Look Like?

The specialized therapy needed for sibling sexual abuse survivors incorporates a trauma-informed approach to address the complex and unique needs of these survivors. It involves creating a safe and supportive environment for the survivor to share their experiences and work through their trauma. It is not uncommon for them to be many sessions over many months before the survivor discloses anything, once a survivor feels they are in a safe space and manages to find a connection to the therapist, then often they find the courage to speak their truth. This can take years of careful trust building.

Therapy sessions may focus on processing traumatic experiences, addressing any negative thoughts and beliefs, developing healthy coping strategies, and building stronger relationships with others. Therapy may also involve education about healthy boundaries and skills for self-care. ,furthermore the therapist must approach the topic of sibling sexual abuse with sensitivity and compassion, avoiding any victim-blaming or shaming language. They must also recognize and address the potential impact of the abuse on other family members and help them support the survivor in their healing journey.

Final Thoughts

Sibling sexual abuse is a form of trauma that is often misunderstood, overlooked, or even denied by society. Survivors of this type of abuse face unique challenges in their recovery journey, which require specialized therapy to address. It is essential to educate ourselves about sibling sexual abuse and its impact on survivors to create a safe and supportive environment for them to come forward and seek help. As a society, we must work towards breaking the silence around this issue and support survivors in their healing process.

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